Vintage Film Posters

Best Horror Movie Posters

Watch the expandables movie (2010) online for free

Tension and release. The first kill in The Expendables  doesn't just come after a prolonged standoff. It comes after a year of build-up, wondering what would happen if the kings of VHS-era action were to come back for one last job. When the bullets finally fly they shred the baddie into hamburger with the force of a nation of hungry action fans backing them. It is unfortunate that once this first shot is off, nothing remaining in the film has this level of vitality. If ever there has been a metaphor for cinematic premature ejaculation, this is it.

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The Expendables, a much-hyped collection of the biggest names in testosterone pictures from the 1980s to today, is one of the best examples of film-as-product to come down the pike in a while. Every aspect of the marketing has been enjoyable to follow, capping with a great panel at San Diego Comic-Con. It is with regret, then, that I must report that the movie itself does not live up to the promise of those amazing posters.

Following the amazing first-kill climax, there is a tender afterglow. This is the much-discussed scene between Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. I suppose if I lived in California I'd be more used to his face, but it is so good to see Arnold again. He enters the scene like a champion and gets right back to quipping as if his dalliance with politics never happened. I was laughing with a giddy joy – so much so I barely comprehended what the scene was about.

It's around this time that the plot kicks in. Sly and his team must go the "Island of Vilena" (try googling that word some time) and right some wrongs. As plots go, it is shockingly generic. It's unfortunate, but one can't help but wonder if Stallone felt that collecting the most macho living actors with a willingness to try outrageous stunts would be enough to keep this movie going. Sadly, it is not.

There are joys to be found in The Expendables. I was wowed by a remarkable soliloquy in close-up from Mickey Rourke detailing Balkan slivovitz drinking and the horrors of mercenaryhood. Snuck between classic rock needle drops (CCR, Mountain, Georgia Satellites, Thin Lizzy, more CCR!) are strangely unfunny one-liners ("who are you, Zorro?") that, in some inexplicable way, compliments the absurdity of the action.  Stallone's line delivery is, to be kind, unique.  He redefines mumblecore.

The big set piece at the end is impressive. It is an unending series of fists and explosions, with each boldface name getting some quality screen time, proving that Stallone really is a formidable action director. It is just a pity it takes so long to get there.

The Expendables concludes with the assumption that we all love these guys. In the abstract, this is true. I love 'em on a poster. After a full movie with an uninteresting story and zero character development, I feel like I'll need to be sold a bit before I line up for The Expendables 2.

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Rob Zombie (Face) Music Poster Print - 24x36 Sale Price: $3.37   Eligible for free shipping! Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days See Reviews For This Product Description Rob Zombie (Face) Music Poster Print - 24x36 Features decorate your walls with this brand new poster easy to frame and makes a great gift too ships quickly and safely in a sturdy protective tube measures 24.00 by 36.00 inches

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White Zombie (Blue Face) Music Poster- 24x36 custom fit with RichAndFramous Black 24 inch Poster Hangers List Price: $21.99 Sale Price: $7.79 You save: $14.20 (65%)   Eligible for free shipping! Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days See Reviews For This Product Description White Zombie was a band founded by Rob Zombie (lyrics/ vocals/ art). It was named after the 1932 film White Zombie, which starred Bela Lugosi. Their albums include Soul-Crush, Make Them Die Slowly, La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1, and Astro-Creep: 2000. Songs include Thunder Kiss '65, Black Sunshine, I Am Hell, Feed the Gods, More Human Than Human, Electric Head Pt 2 (The Ecstasy), Real Solution #9, Super-Charger Heaven, The One, I'm Your Boogieman. Features Poster Hanger framing is economical and attractive Includes Poster framed with 2 custom fit Poster Hangers Premium Quality RichAndFramous Poster Hangers in matte black to match any decor Poster Hanger framed artwork is easy to hang with 8mm hole on back-side. Poster Hangers made of strong, lightweight resin for years of use

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